Birds and I have never seen eye to eye. They are unpredictable with the ability to not only walk and run with the added and most definitely unnecessary bonus of flying. They lurk, they steal and they have beady little eyes that stare into the depths of your soul. But it was one cold winters day that trauma ensued.
As a young teen the idea of gym class outside during Winter was not ideal however as the diligent student I am I pursued my task and headed outside to the park across the road alongside the rest of my classmates. As we crowded around the teacher all moaning about the unfortunate combination of Winter and Cricket (yes we were all aware how awful that sounds) I stood opposite my classmates for a reason I cannot remember for the life of me, and suddenly each of their mouths opened and their eyes widened while in turn my face first became confused. Why were they all pulling faces of shock and horror? Was there some inside joke I was missing out on? and then it hit me quite literally. A pigeon, the most horrid of all birds, landed on my head, it was that moment my heart stopped and I had wondered if I had begun to see the infamous bright light. Had I died? Had I entered my own personally hell? okay maybe I was being dramatic, but nevertheless, I dropped to the ground as I assume one naturally would, wailing my hands around trying remove the pigeon from my head. But here is the kicker, IT WAS STUCK. As everyone laughed, I cried swearing right then and there that my relationship with birds will never be mended, I had created my very first enemy.
Eventually after the pigeon’s claws were removed from my scalp I sat there, in the middle of the park with the mascara I wasn’t allowed to wear streaming down my face for what must have been a good five minutes. After completing my melt down (one I believe was well deserved) I looked up at the rest of my class and I laughed. I just starting laughing. Maybe it was shock maybe it was an immediate realisation of how crazy the whole situation was. It was so hard to comprehend, pigeons tend to fly away when you approach not fly towards you and land on your head like it was prepared for battle. But no matter how traumatic it is equally the most hilarious event of my life.