I have always loved pictures ever since I was a child. I would pose for the camera until the space ran out, but recently I have found more comfort behind the lens. I love the idea of capturing a moment, and embodying a personality. I feel like photography and journalism go hand in hand like Mary-Kate and Ashley or Maccas and a night out. Although my photos are still very much amateur, hell I don’t even have my own camera yet I hope that my busy schedule allows for me to explore this new and improving hobby of mine.
Below is a story I submitted to Man Repellers writing club. I didn’t get selected but I am still happy with what I wrote so I thought I would share it on here.
Dreamers are often said to be the people who get the least amount of things done, too far up in the clouds to pull their dreams in to reality. But as a dreamer with a strong desire to remain as optimistic as possible I like to believe that my crazy and wild dreams will one day make up my reality. Because being optimistic doesn’t mean that you can not imagine the possible things that could go wrong just that you choose to focus your energy towards all the amazing things that could go right.
When life handed me one truly shitty lemon I had to learn to overcome, I had to learn to not give up and work towards making that oh so delicious lemonade. There is no nice way of saying it, Anxiety is a bitch. When you pair a dreamer with an anxious mind you can only imagine the conflict that erupts, the strongest desire to do something with your life but the constant voice in your head giving you speech after speech all ending in the concluding sentence of “honey you’re just not good enough”. Anxiety is not an optimist, it is an exaggerated survival skill telling you that the word vomit of nervousness you encountered while being forced to speak in class, resulted in a face the colour of a deliciously zesty tomato and was the exact moment of your demise. However, optimism will prevail taking the little ball of anxiousness that is myself and making the best of it. Whether I wore a risky outfit in the living room of my flat or out in public… I still wore it, Whether I emailed a lecturer instead of speaking to them directly … I still asked my question and whether I write for my own personal journal or a legit publication … I am still letting my words and my thoughts hit the paper.
Because what you truly need as a dreamer who has unfortunately been paired with anxiety is the optimism that you will push through. That the little voice in your head who condescendingly calls you honey for some unknown reason doesn’t have to triumph. Maybe I haven’t quite found the perfect formula to turn a shitty lemon into lemonade but I would like to believe with a little (somewhat forced) optimistic mind that I have taken a shitty lemon and grew it into a gloriously oh so zesty lemon.
It is crazy to think that we are already a few days into 2017 and with 2016 officially behind us all I have high hopes for the year ahead. With surprising unrealistic plans to further myself in almost every aspect of my life, I walk into this year with a positive attitude.
I am not normally the type to make new years resolutions, as I tend to be the kind of person who forgets I made them within a few months. But this year with high hopes to improve myself I thought why not make goals rather than resolutions, they may be very similar ideas but I think pressures surrounding the two are very different. A goal is something to strive for making conscious decisions each step of the way towards achieving the said goal, even if you do not achieve the goal, the small steps towards it still give a sense of accomplishment. A resolution on the other hand carries so much pressure, more of a pass or fail type vibe to it, not really the type of this I am after.
It has taken me a while to write this post as I have been battling with myself as to what type of goals I want to set for myself. Do I challenge myself? or set more realistically achievable goals? I have finally come to the conclusion of why not both?! I am hoping that by documenting them here on my messy little journal ill take more of a conscious effort in working towards the end result.
So I do not babble on too much here are my goals for 2017!
- Make at least two blog posts a week. A commitment to this blog is reflective of my commitment to achieving my career goals.
- Expand my cooking horizons. With a current repertoire of two meals, I think it is time for a bit more variety.
- Keep a tidy space. A messy bedroom can cause a lot of stress, hopefully in minimising the mess I can minimise the stress!
- Improve my grade average. I have always strived for the best marks possible and with my first year of university under my belt its time to step up the game.
If you have made resolutions or goals in this year like me I wish you the best of luck!
My Messy Little Journal ♥︎
Top: Seed Skirt:Glassons Shoes: Adidas Rings: Karen Walker Necklace: Tiffanys Bracelet: Tiffanys
Christmas day is always such a highly anticipated day of the holidays all over the world. I find it interesting however that Christmas is highly publicised as a winter holiday, even in the Southern Hemisphere where we are in the height of summer. I find it makes it a little difficult to identify with the ‘traditional’ Christmas spirit as my christmas holiday involves BBQ’s and beaches as opposed to snow and ugly Christmas sweaters. But although a summer Christmas may hold different traditions to a winter Christmas the main values stay the same, spending time with family and giving back. My family always makes it a habit to donate a large portion of food to the SPCA each holidays in order to help feed the animals and also buy christmas presents to put under the Kmart Christmas tree for children in need. Buying presents for family is also one of the best parts of Christmas I always love trying to make sure I choose something different that they will love, although it is stressful within the craziness that is stores at Christmas time the look on their faces when the open it is always magical.
My favourite part of Christmas however is choosing the outfit. When it is Christmas day why wouldn’t you want to look fabulous? So I always put a lot of thought in to what I am going to wear. This year I chose an off the shoulder top from Seed and a classic denim, mini A-line skirt. Pairing it with my Karen walker rings, Tiffany key necklace and Tiffany Bracelet. Off the shoulder tops are currently at the top of my favourites list at the moment as something about them gives me the sense of casual elegance and when paired with my go-to jewellery combination I felt ready to take on Christmas day in style.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and felt fabulous all day whether you were cozied up in a winter wonderland or chilling on the beach. Happy Holidays!
My Messy Little Journal ♥︎
I’ve always felt that blogs were meant for those who had something to say or some fabulous talent to present to the world. However, i’ve never really felt like I was someone who reached those qualifications until recently in my life.
While researching where I want to go with the next stage of my life I stumbled upon the perfect goal for me. As someone currently studying Communication at university I didn’t really have a set career in mind, I had areas of interest of course! but nothing that I ever felt talented enough for. It wasn’t until mid 2016 that I realised that my interest in both Fashion and Writing should be something I genuinely try to pursue, and what place is more perfect for fashion and writing than British Vogue! One might say this is a far fetched dream for a small kiwi girl like me, a thought that I myself once had not too long ago but I’ve always loved writing and fashion with my mother telling me that when I was a toddler I would actually cry if I didn’t like the outfit she chose for me. I guess I loved looking good from a young age.
Now please don’t get me wrong I may have always had an interest in fashion but my ability to actually carry it out seems to fail miserably on a regular basis. After numerous unfortunate phases and at the tender age of 19 I think I am finally starting to find my style and I guess with this blog that will continue to develop and grow which is really exciting.
With such a large goal set in my sights I thought what better way to grow, learn and gain confidence than to create a blog where I can write and create for an audience as well as for myself. I hope this blog will include a range of things from photography to reviews to stories from yours truely. But please promise me you will never expect anything to be organised, even my writing structure, I am a strong believer of tangents if you find yourself in one I recommend you follow it.
My Messy Little Journal ♥︎